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I did not promise anything about 'regularly' updating the blog since I don't have any readers who would itch for them but there's always something inside me which is triggered whenever I fail to write something in here. Let me update you about things that have happened to me lately and it'd be quick. School - like our last college semester (as what my classmates put it) had started last week. It was a blast. Blast of howeworks, unannounced quizzes, sleepless nights and more more more stress! I can't believe I have gotten used to the comfy life I had for 2 weeks because of the sembreak. Now that we've just been to school for a week, it already feels like an eternity for me and I can't help but wish for it to end quickly. Well, I have nothing against our professors, (but one who caught me laughing at her PPT presentation and reprimanded me indirectly; she's one of the 'terror', 'unreasonable', 'crazy' professors we have in the university and idk why she HAD to be our professor blah) I actually admire one of them because honestly, in my 4 years of stay in the university, I seldom meet worth-praising professors (basing that on my standards) and it's a blessing for us to have him for we learn a lot from him (although we aren't so sure if we're gonna survive his class; man, world literature? interpretations of texts that only HE could conclude and get the morals of? DUDE, you gotta be kidding me) but hopefully, this quarter would be good to all of us and will finish smoothly. Putting that aside, I've also been hooked to the English gay-themed and old series, "queer as folk". I attempted to watch it before but I ended up watching Fanvids (yep, typical me) but know I was in the mood to watch more or less 50 parts of their story on Youtube (not the whole series though) and it was undoubtedly HOT! I've seen Asian gay movies but this one's so liberated...so different for a conservative person like me (cough). I may not be telling this to the world but my friends know it. I have a thing with my hair because it keeps on falling off without any reason. Like, you know, the strands aren't strong enough to attach itself to the scalp. Lately, I've been thinking of having my hair rebonded as to (1) perhaps lessen the hairfall and 2) get rid of the hair strands which seek attention by standing up. I have had enough of this frizzy, fuzzy whatever zzy is that hair. So I'm hoping to undergo the treatment soon...if my pocket would allow and hopefully it would be a success. Ugh! I really care too much about my hair, I really feel like crying if I lose ONE strand. =( Hmmmm what else is there to say? Well, obviously the weekend seems so fast and I don't want it to end. I feel like my grammar's getting worse and I want to do something about it. Any ideas? I want to read some books, too! Oh! I think I'm gonna start reading the Perks of being a wall flower just please, let me have the nerve to transfer the file to my phone. Okay that must be all for now. <3 Laters, babies! :3

The present and nothing more

This is spontaneously written. I believe I may have mishaps and may wish to re-write a clear, decent and detailed version of it in the future. For now, please forgive the randomness. Year 2008-mid 2009: I have seen there faces, they are gorgeous, good singers and indeed famous! Oh, they even have their own thread in a Taiwanese band forum! See? See? They are popular just like that and I didn't even have the nerve to know and research on them. Late 2009 - I just found myself idolizing these gods. Truthfully speaking, I'm not the type of person who encourages myself to remember every detail about the group. The members' birth dates? Up to know, I do not memorize them all. Most fangirls would find that a piece of cake, I know but me...please blame my memory for that. I may not have the memory to 'know them too well' but I have the heart to love them, accept them, their imperfections and support them all the way. I was never an "official Cassiopeia". Many aren't but they believe they are. Official Cassiopeia to me means having registered to the main fanclub of the gods in South Korea - with the paraphernalia and all that but let's get real, I don't live in Korea and can be identified as one of the hundreds of thousands "international fans". What can I do to get it to the Official Fanclub? Before, my thinking is like this, like there's something lacking with my fandom but that inhibition was eventually removed from my system. Thank heavens. Being a fan of Dong Bang Shin Ki(東方神起), to say it very simply is very complicated. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I am afraid of knowing them before. They're successful, have so many fans, shows, mp3s which I wonder how on earth could I watch them all? But in the end, I was caught in their trap. Too bad, though that I became a fan just as things are starting to get a little bleary -- when the group was split into two - JYJ and HoMin. I don't want to speak about this but I sometimes take sides, I admit. But at the end of the day, I just don't feel a bit of hatred or regret for choosing to be their fan. In a blink of an eye, I've been a fan for somewhat 2 years now and I'm proud of it. Two years of waiting, of having a strong heart, 2 faithful years of believing that they will comeback...and still counting. I don't know what's with these guys, with this group of whatever but...they don't make me feel tired...not just yet. Instead, everyday's like a new day...every picture looks fresh, promising and never fails to send me to cloud 9. Oh it is only when Jaejoong tweets a picture that I would rush my way to the computer to open it. It's as if they cast a spell on me -- a spell where a person will get the same old feeling everytime she listens to their songs, when she looks at your pictures, or watches your video. Maybe I'd call that the Dong Bang Shin Ki Effect. The present and nothing more is all Dong Bang Shin Ki. With the feelings and happiness I have toward them today, I see no end to this madness. I see no more fandom coming for me...so please, come back already? And SEE YOU...IN PERSON...IN THE FUTURE! your fangirl. xoxo

Press the reset

A look to the previous bands I have idolized. My history as a fangirl is miraculously vague to my own memory and I am not really into backtracking and refreshing all those silly things I have done in the past as a fangirl. Dunno why today I felt like reminiscing and blogging about it – those who have known me for the past 2 or 3 years wouldn’t know about this, but my high school friends definitely do. First boy band I idolized sincerely (as far as I could remember) is Rivermaya. You would think everyone’s a fan of this ban as they are considered one of the ‘legends of OPM’ but mine is a different case. I cannot clearly remember how it started for during those times, we still do not have a decent internet connection so I think I merely depended on the television. Gradually, I asked my father to buy me *fake*CDs which have mp3 songs of the band, luckily though, my father is into music so it’s really okay to him, especially when we go to Quiapo just to shop for CDs and stuff – oh that felt like heaven to me! One fateful day, I thought to myself that I should at least but an original copy of their “Greatest Hits Collection 2006” album which costs around 300php during that time and as a student who does not have ‘enough’ money for that, I pulled some strings and voila~ I was able to buy that precious item. Whenever I clean the house, (yep, I do that before) you can hear the CD playing repeatedly; once finish with the cleaning, I make sure that the CD is safely back into its case and I would stash it somewhere safe. Oh, dear~ those moments were great because if I were to go back to fully patronizing OPM now, I would still listen to old Rivermaya songs because they are epic just like that. Of course, in the 4-member band, I have a ‘bias’ heee heee~ but I won’t be telling that here. Only few people know him , for sure! As Rivermaya encountered ups and downs, I wasn’t there anymore nor did I have updates about their new songs and activities. I don’t know why, one day, I woke up and stopped being a severe fan of the band. Second boy band I liked is Callalily. Yep, I was crazy back then to Tatsi Jamnague~oh highschool days. I could clearly remember the not-so-ordinary stalking I commenced online before (well, I only stalk their pictures and their pictures with their girlfriends heee~). I bought their Destination XYZ (which was their Debut album) two times, why? The first album I bought looked like it’s raped or something considering the amount of times I played the CD repeatedly so for me to feel satisfied, I had bought a new one and hid it safely~ Remarkable things of me idolizing this band are the places I went just to see them. Two are during the fiestas held near our barangay so they were invited and another one is at Market!Market! where I even dragged two of my HS friends to accompany me. Oh my craze that time is of quite something. As rapid as my fondness towards this band has started, it quite ended in a blink of an eye that one day I just did not care nor I was interested in them anymore. T__T I’m weird, I know. But Callalily’s songs in their first album – name them, I can sing them to you, they have good and catchy and sweet songs. Now let’s go outside the Asia – somewhere near the PH but a bit North – to Taiwan. The Fahrenheit band which was composed of Wu Chun, Calvin Chen, Jiro Wang and Aaron Yan. In this fandom, I was a member of FFP (a PH fansite of the band) and whenever there are events to go to, my ‘previous’ bestfriend was with me, like ‘we are in this together~’ so if there are new MVs that have been released, we would rave over them together, squealing like crazy because we simply understood each other. We also watched every member’s drama and it’s euphoric! Heee~ one thing about this fandom is that I was able to meet awesome people which up to know are still my friends although we have all left the Fahrenheit fandom and transferred to the Kpop world. Sad to say and accept but there’s always an end to everything although you wouldn’t really think of that at first. If you’d ask me what I’ve learned in all these fandoms I’ve had is that they will give you happiness and get you all hyped up at first but eventually, as time passes by, your interests and preferences change, you find yourself unconsciously losing your fondness towards them and move on to another one~ one that would give you a fresh, euphoric feeling. Only that this 5th and last fandom I’d share on my next post is the longest, the present and I think the last fandom I will have in my lifetime.

The weird blogger

Before anything else, I just want to inform you guise that as I read my previous blog posts, I tend to randomly discuss things and neglect the 'essence' of the post. How? well, let's say I decided to title this blog as 'this' so I start talking about 'this' but as I go on, my trace of thought kinda shifts from 'this' to 'that' which makes me confused, too! Pardon me because right now I couldn't think of any reason for that except for it being just one of the weird sides of me. Yes, there's more to it. Another thing that sank in to me is that I don't promote this blog and as much as possible, I try to hide it to the people I know( YES, WEIRD, I TOLD YOU) and I have one follower, which is my cousin (who doesn't have an internet connection recently) that could basically mean no one actually visits this blog and reads the posts in it except for...me. Well, don't you still find it weird that despite the fact that I am aware that no one could read this, I'm still posting weird stuff as if I'm talking to no one but the thin air? Is the intensity of my weirdness going high? Well, I hope it isn't because no one would like that to happen plus I want to work not-so-hard to appear and really be friendly to all people out there (BUT WHY WHY IS IT SO HARD?). This is just another haphazard thought so lemme go to another topic which is me enjoying this sembreak like whoa. (Wow, that's a transition right there hee~) Remember me sulking and feeling all sad during the first days of the semestral break because...well I could still clearly remember how I felt during those times...I will kinda miss the life I got used to for the whole sem. HECK but now, I eat, sleep, watch stuff, laze around the house like a boss! Who wouldn't want that? well, yes, my mom but I am definitely enjoying this although I feel like I'm so lazy and there are times that I think I need to do something too~ hee. In less than a week, school will start and another semester will open again and I am not excited about it. Heeeeee. Quite the studious type, aren't I? Well well well~ Oh, one thing I want to share is that I do not really plan when should I blog or something...I would just find my fingers typing the letters 'blogger' in the address bar and voila~ I'm here finishing a non-interesting blog post in no time. (huuur)

Reeling

Not that I ought to be surprised but I'm reeling... I cannot believe we have just gone the other day to take our graduation pictures taken! I mean, why does it seem that today, time flies really fast but while we're in the process of all those stress (and more stress to come, yep, this upcoming semester is kind of intimidating me XD)we just wanted everything to end. But now, how come, I'm fourth year, some are asking if I'd graduate next year, I'm being positive so I'm saying "maybe~" and some are just so sure I'll graduate (thanks!) and are starting to call me weird names like "Ma'am" of some sorts. Well, seriously, the fact that I am already a graduating student isn't sinking in just yet...maybe because we haven't had experienced our Practice Teaching yet which I'm really nervous about. It's one of the tests and experiences I'm intimidated about but hopefully, with prayers and God, we will all be able to finish it well. Keeping my faith! <3 Oh, you may not want to see this but here are some pictures, take it as a glimpse to the graduation picture pictorial we had somewhere in Greenhills~

OMO OMO. Ignore this person plz ><

That moment...

That moment when it's sembreak and you only stay at home, watch uninteresting TV shows, music videos, surf the internet routinely, talk to people at home and just be by yourself. I have never thought this could be very lonely. The past vacations I have had were all fun but why do I feel this way now? Also, that moment when you seldom post pictures, statuses and stuff on Facebook and when you do, no one likes or comments on them and I was like...I'm forever alone! That moment when 'your friends' are watching a Kpop concert and you're at home, tweeting, lying on your stomach and blogging. That moment when you feel like you don't have friends anymore and you feel like you are not capable of having real ones who will be your friends for a long time. That moment when you're blogging and you suddenly had nothing to type because your minds stops working. That moment when you are craving Milk tea which can be only bought near your school which will take you 2 rides and which will cost you 32php with the exemption of the Milk tea price. That moment when you just don't understand clearly how you feel, what you plan to do in life and just lay everything on fate and God's hands. That moment when I know I had to end this post because it's becoming annoying. That moment when I just want to sleep because I have nothing good to do. That moment when I have to exercise and lose all these bi and triceps fats but too lazy to do so. That moment when it's raining and you don't like it because it's making you sad. That moment when you can't understand why you don't appreciate vacations that way you used to before. And that moment...oh...that moment of....Good night.