The present and nothing more

This is spontaneously written. I believe I may have mishaps and may wish to re-write a clear, decent and detailed version of it in the future. For now, please forgive the randomness. Year 2008-mid 2009: I have seen there faces, they are gorgeous, good singers and indeed famous! Oh, they even have their own thread in a Taiwanese band forum! See? See? They are popular just like that and I didn't even have the nerve to know and research on them. Late 2009 - I just found myself idolizing these gods. Truthfully speaking, I'm not the type of person who encourages myself to remember every detail about the group. The members' birth dates? Up to know, I do not memorize them all. Most fangirls would find that a piece of cake, I know but me...please blame my memory for that. I may not have the memory to 'know them too well' but I have the heart to love them, accept them, their imperfections and support them all the way. I was never an "official Cassiopeia". Many aren't but they believe they are. Official Cassiopeia to me means having registered to the main fanclub of the gods in South Korea - with the paraphernalia and all that but let's get real, I don't live in Korea and can be identified as one of the hundreds of thousands "international fans". What can I do to get it to the Official Fanclub? Before, my thinking is like this, like there's something lacking with my fandom but that inhibition was eventually removed from my system. Thank heavens. Being a fan of Dong Bang Shin Ki(東方神起), to say it very simply is very complicated. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I am afraid of knowing them before. They're successful, have so many fans, shows, mp3s which I wonder how on earth could I watch them all? But in the end, I was caught in their trap. Too bad, though that I became a fan just as things are starting to get a little bleary -- when the group was split into two - JYJ and HoMin. I don't want to speak about this but I sometimes take sides, I admit. But at the end of the day, I just don't feel a bit of hatred or regret for choosing to be their fan. In a blink of an eye, I've been a fan for somewhat 2 years now and I'm proud of it. Two years of waiting, of having a strong heart, 2 faithful years of believing that they will comeback...and still counting. I don't know what's with these guys, with this group of whatever but...they don't make me feel tired...not just yet. Instead, everyday's like a new day...every picture looks fresh, promising and never fails to send me to cloud 9. Oh it is only when Jaejoong tweets a picture that I would rush my way to the computer to open it. It's as if they cast a spell on me -- a spell where a person will get the same old feeling everytime she listens to their songs, when she looks at your pictures, or watches your video. Maybe I'd call that the Dong Bang Shin Ki Effect. The present and nothing more is all Dong Bang Shin Ki. With the feelings and happiness I have toward them today, I see no end to this madness. I see no more fandom coming for me...so please, come back already? And SEE YOU...IN PERSON...IN THE FUTURE! your fangirl. xoxo