embarassed

"Everybody has problems, Everybody has bad times. Do we sacrifice all of the good times because of them? No." - Enchanted.

This isn't really planned to be written but again, something in me pushed me to do so. I don't know why I decided to watch Enchanted (a 2007 Disney Movie) after a long time. Good thing my friend had saved a copy of it on my HD. It was real happiness and ever after. It made me dream of my own happy ever-after although everyone knows it is close to impossible having one. Earlier, we had this "monologue" presentation in class where we have to portray a character from stories we have discussed in one subject. Monologue, per se, is like a speech being told to the audience and could get tedious at times but then again the emotions should be there --- the thing is; a person like me couldn't really act. I could make myself appear like I know how to dance, sing but acting? Don't bother. So in the end, my portrayal of the character I chose failed. I totally f*cked it up. I even did a 2nd take of my 'speech' which has been edited by my awesome cousin. After repeating the whole thing again, I feel like no one even likes to listen, like they're uninterested to their wits. That's saddening though. The simplest things in life make me embarrassed, I think it is only me who's aware of this. The embarrassment I have gotten myself into earlier, whenever I had the chance to remember the whole thing again, I'd have that feeling to be swallowed by the ground. I simply cannot stand it. This happens a lot when I'm by myself. Isn't that weird? This experience I had would remain for quite long~ and I kinda thank short memory for existing that, hopefully, in a week or two, I'll get over and the whole event wouldn't cross my mind ever...like ever. :/ So embarrassed I wanna cry. T^T

All For You

Blame the hit drama Reply 1997 for this. The drama's OST, "All For You" is STILL stuck in my head after hearing the first time it 4-5 days ago. You know the feeling when you listen to it continuously, each time feels like the first time you heard it. Yep, I am so into it I had to activate the loop button so I'd stop doing stuff before the song repeats. Oh dear, I'm a picky person (except for food!) but when I find stuff which I really like, it takes some time before I could get over it. So now, I want to put the song here in my blogger as a 'background music' but I have no idea how to do so. Uh but anw, if you'd like to listen to the song, here's the link to it: :D href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_GyneFGQ74" I have so much love for In-guk (the male singer) and his voice is so handsome! He inspires me a lot lately. I'm not really his fan and I admit he isn't my type before I watched the drama but...after 16 freaking episodes of it, I found myself falling for him. IDK if I fell for his character in the drama or what but what matters is his voice is so lovely I could care less. He isn't that handsome, yes but it's his appeal and 'character' that lure me in. I always consider the 'looks' in men who I like (LIKE KIM JAEJOONG) but In-guk would kinda be an exception. Besides, he's not so bad-looking himself, his face actually reminds me of Jaejoong during his pre-debut days when he still has his maiden face and hasn't undergone /stuff/ to get the face he has right now. Love you, Jaejoong! Yep that's fangirling right there. Big time.

header

Blogged to: 1) Flaunt my new header which showcases my very-stressed feet and hardly painted nails (I could still clearly remember that painting those nails took me forever to make it appear presentable like that XD). This was taken during our 2011 vacation in Quezon, particularly at one of the beaches in there called "Dalampasigan". Very Pinoy, isn't it? Ah~ I'm feeling nostalgic right now, I wanna go back there! 2) To make blogger serve as my 'temporary hard drive' by saving my old header here. I already had a trauma regarding files being lost and never retrieved and it's such a big loss for me whenever I want to reminisce and stuff. So here ta-da! LOL all of my headers are mine and are weirdly edited by moi.

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I did not promise anything about 'regularly' updating the blog since I don't have any readers who would itch for them but there's always something inside me which is triggered whenever I fail to write something in here. Let me update you about things that have happened to me lately and it'd be quick. School - like our last college semester (as what my classmates put it) had started last week. It was a blast. Blast of howeworks, unannounced quizzes, sleepless nights and more more more stress! I can't believe I have gotten used to the comfy life I had for 2 weeks because of the sembreak. Now that we've just been to school for a week, it already feels like an eternity for me and I can't help but wish for it to end quickly. Well, I have nothing against our professors, (but one who caught me laughing at her PPT presentation and reprimanded me indirectly; she's one of the 'terror', 'unreasonable', 'crazy' professors we have in the university and idk why she HAD to be our professor blah) I actually admire one of them because honestly, in my 4 years of stay in the university, I seldom meet worth-praising professors (basing that on my standards) and it's a blessing for us to have him for we learn a lot from him (although we aren't so sure if we're gonna survive his class; man, world literature? interpretations of texts that only HE could conclude and get the morals of? DUDE, you gotta be kidding me) but hopefully, this quarter would be good to all of us and will finish smoothly. Putting that aside, I've also been hooked to the English gay-themed and old series, "queer as folk". I attempted to watch it before but I ended up watching Fanvids (yep, typical me) but know I was in the mood to watch more or less 50 parts of their story on Youtube (not the whole series though) and it was undoubtedly HOT! I've seen Asian gay movies but this one's so liberated...so different for a conservative person like me (cough). I may not be telling this to the world but my friends know it. I have a thing with my hair because it keeps on falling off without any reason. Like, you know, the strands aren't strong enough to attach itself to the scalp. Lately, I've been thinking of having my hair rebonded as to (1) perhaps lessen the hairfall and 2) get rid of the hair strands which seek attention by standing up. I have had enough of this frizzy, fuzzy whatever zzy is that hair. So I'm hoping to undergo the treatment soon...if my pocket would allow and hopefully it would be a success. Ugh! I really care too much about my hair, I really feel like crying if I lose ONE strand. =( Hmmmm what else is there to say? Well, obviously the weekend seems so fast and I don't want it to end. I feel like my grammar's getting worse and I want to do something about it. Any ideas? I want to read some books, too! Oh! I think I'm gonna start reading the Perks of being a wall flower just please, let me have the nerve to transfer the file to my phone. Okay that must be all for now. <3 Laters, babies! :3

The present and nothing more

This is spontaneously written. I believe I may have mishaps and may wish to re-write a clear, decent and detailed version of it in the future. For now, please forgive the randomness. Year 2008-mid 2009: I have seen there faces, they are gorgeous, good singers and indeed famous! Oh, they even have their own thread in a Taiwanese band forum! See? See? They are popular just like that and I didn't even have the nerve to know and research on them. Late 2009 - I just found myself idolizing these gods. Truthfully speaking, I'm not the type of person who encourages myself to remember every detail about the group. The members' birth dates? Up to know, I do not memorize them all. Most fangirls would find that a piece of cake, I know but me...please blame my memory for that. I may not have the memory to 'know them too well' but I have the heart to love them, accept them, their imperfections and support them all the way. I was never an "official Cassiopeia". Many aren't but they believe they are. Official Cassiopeia to me means having registered to the main fanclub of the gods in South Korea - with the paraphernalia and all that but let's get real, I don't live in Korea and can be identified as one of the hundreds of thousands "international fans". What can I do to get it to the Official Fanclub? Before, my thinking is like this, like there's something lacking with my fandom but that inhibition was eventually removed from my system. Thank heavens. Being a fan of Dong Bang Shin Ki(東方神起), to say it very simply is very complicated. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I am afraid of knowing them before. They're successful, have so many fans, shows, mp3s which I wonder how on earth could I watch them all? But in the end, I was caught in their trap. Too bad, though that I became a fan just as things are starting to get a little bleary -- when the group was split into two - JYJ and HoMin. I don't want to speak about this but I sometimes take sides, I admit. But at the end of the day, I just don't feel a bit of hatred or regret for choosing to be their fan. In a blink of an eye, I've been a fan for somewhat 2 years now and I'm proud of it. Two years of waiting, of having a strong heart, 2 faithful years of believing that they will comeback...and still counting. I don't know what's with these guys, with this group of whatever but...they don't make me feel tired...not just yet. Instead, everyday's like a new day...every picture looks fresh, promising and never fails to send me to cloud 9. Oh it is only when Jaejoong tweets a picture that I would rush my way to the computer to open it. It's as if they cast a spell on me -- a spell where a person will get the same old feeling everytime she listens to their songs, when she looks at your pictures, or watches your video. Maybe I'd call that the Dong Bang Shin Ki Effect. The present and nothing more is all Dong Bang Shin Ki. With the feelings and happiness I have toward them today, I see no end to this madness. I see no more fandom coming for me...so please, come back already? And SEE YOU...IN PERSON...IN THE FUTURE! your fangirl. xoxo