Press the reset

A look to the previous bands I have idolized. My history as a fangirl is miraculously vague to my own memory and I am not really into backtracking and refreshing all those silly things I have done in the past as a fangirl. Dunno why today I felt like reminiscing and blogging about it – those who have known me for the past 2 or 3 years wouldn’t know about this, but my high school friends definitely do. First boy band I idolized sincerely (as far as I could remember) is Rivermaya. You would think everyone’s a fan of this ban as they are considered one of the ‘legends of OPM’ but mine is a different case. I cannot clearly remember how it started for during those times, we still do not have a decent internet connection so I think I merely depended on the television. Gradually, I asked my father to buy me *fake*CDs which have mp3 songs of the band, luckily though, my father is into music so it’s really okay to him, especially when we go to Quiapo just to shop for CDs and stuff – oh that felt like heaven to me! One fateful day, I thought to myself that I should at least but an original copy of their “Greatest Hits Collection 2006” album which costs around 300php during that time and as a student who does not have ‘enough’ money for that, I pulled some strings and voila~ I was able to buy that precious item. Whenever I clean the house, (yep, I do that before) you can hear the CD playing repeatedly; once finish with the cleaning, I make sure that the CD is safely back into its case and I would stash it somewhere safe. Oh, dear~ those moments were great because if I were to go back to fully patronizing OPM now, I would still listen to old Rivermaya songs because they are epic just like that. Of course, in the 4-member band, I have a ‘bias’ heee heee~ but I won’t be telling that here. Only few people know him , for sure! As Rivermaya encountered ups and downs, I wasn’t there anymore nor did I have updates about their new songs and activities. I don’t know why, one day, I woke up and stopped being a severe fan of the band. Second boy band I liked is Callalily. Yep, I was crazy back then to Tatsi Jamnague~oh highschool days. I could clearly remember the not-so-ordinary stalking I commenced online before (well, I only stalk their pictures and their pictures with their girlfriends heee~). I bought their Destination XYZ (which was their Debut album) two times, why? The first album I bought looked like it’s raped or something considering the amount of times I played the CD repeatedly so for me to feel satisfied, I had bought a new one and hid it safely~ Remarkable things of me idolizing this band are the places I went just to see them. Two are during the fiestas held near our barangay so they were invited and another one is at Market!Market! where I even dragged two of my HS friends to accompany me. Oh my craze that time is of quite something. As rapid as my fondness towards this band has started, it quite ended in a blink of an eye that one day I just did not care nor I was interested in them anymore. T__T I’m weird, I know. But Callalily’s songs in their first album – name them, I can sing them to you, they have good and catchy and sweet songs. Now let’s go outside the Asia – somewhere near the PH but a bit North – to Taiwan. The Fahrenheit band which was composed of Wu Chun, Calvin Chen, Jiro Wang and Aaron Yan. In this fandom, I was a member of FFP (a PH fansite of the band) and whenever there are events to go to, my ‘previous’ bestfriend was with me, like ‘we are in this together~’ so if there are new MVs that have been released, we would rave over them together, squealing like crazy because we simply understood each other. We also watched every member’s drama and it’s euphoric! Heee~ one thing about this fandom is that I was able to meet awesome people which up to know are still my friends although we have all left the Fahrenheit fandom and transferred to the Kpop world. Sad to say and accept but there’s always an end to everything although you wouldn’t really think of that at first. If you’d ask me what I’ve learned in all these fandoms I’ve had is that they will give you happiness and get you all hyped up at first but eventually, as time passes by, your interests and preferences change, you find yourself unconsciously losing your fondness towards them and move on to another one~ one that would give you a fresh, euphoric feeling. Only that this 5th and last fandom I’d share on my next post is the longest, the present and I think the last fandom I will have in my lifetime.

The weird blogger

Before anything else, I just want to inform you guise that as I read my previous blog posts, I tend to randomly discuss things and neglect the 'essence' of the post. How? well, let's say I decided to title this blog as 'this' so I start talking about 'this' but as I go on, my trace of thought kinda shifts from 'this' to 'that' which makes me confused, too! Pardon me because right now I couldn't think of any reason for that except for it being just one of the weird sides of me. Yes, there's more to it. Another thing that sank in to me is that I don't promote this blog and as much as possible, I try to hide it to the people I know( YES, WEIRD, I TOLD YOU) and I have one follower, which is my cousin (who doesn't have an internet connection recently) that could basically mean no one actually visits this blog and reads the posts in it except for...me. Well, don't you still find it weird that despite the fact that I am aware that no one could read this, I'm still posting weird stuff as if I'm talking to no one but the thin air? Is the intensity of my weirdness going high? Well, I hope it isn't because no one would like that to happen plus I want to work not-so-hard to appear and really be friendly to all people out there (BUT WHY WHY IS IT SO HARD?). This is just another haphazard thought so lemme go to another topic which is me enjoying this sembreak like whoa. (Wow, that's a transition right there hee~) Remember me sulking and feeling all sad during the first days of the semestral break because...well I could still clearly remember how I felt during those times...I will kinda miss the life I got used to for the whole sem. HECK but now, I eat, sleep, watch stuff, laze around the house like a boss! Who wouldn't want that? well, yes, my mom but I am definitely enjoying this although I feel like I'm so lazy and there are times that I think I need to do something too~ hee. In less than a week, school will start and another semester will open again and I am not excited about it. Heeeeee. Quite the studious type, aren't I? Well well well~ Oh, one thing I want to share is that I do not really plan when should I blog or something...I would just find my fingers typing the letters 'blogger' in the address bar and voila~ I'm here finishing a non-interesting blog post in no time. (huuur)

Reeling

Not that I ought to be surprised but I'm reeling... I cannot believe we have just gone the other day to take our graduation pictures taken! I mean, why does it seem that today, time flies really fast but while we're in the process of all those stress (and more stress to come, yep, this upcoming semester is kind of intimidating me XD)we just wanted everything to end. But now, how come, I'm fourth year, some are asking if I'd graduate next year, I'm being positive so I'm saying "maybe~" and some are just so sure I'll graduate (thanks!) and are starting to call me weird names like "Ma'am" of some sorts. Well, seriously, the fact that I am already a graduating student isn't sinking in just yet...maybe because we haven't had experienced our Practice Teaching yet which I'm really nervous about. It's one of the tests and experiences I'm intimidated about but hopefully, with prayers and God, we will all be able to finish it well. Keeping my faith! <3 Oh, you may not want to see this but here are some pictures, take it as a glimpse to the graduation picture pictorial we had somewhere in Greenhills~

OMO OMO. Ignore this person plz ><

That moment...

That moment when it's sembreak and you only stay at home, watch uninteresting TV shows, music videos, surf the internet routinely, talk to people at home and just be by yourself. I have never thought this could be very lonely. The past vacations I have had were all fun but why do I feel this way now? Also, that moment when you seldom post pictures, statuses and stuff on Facebook and when you do, no one likes or comments on them and I was like...I'm forever alone! That moment when 'your friends' are watching a Kpop concert and you're at home, tweeting, lying on your stomach and blogging. That moment when you feel like you don't have friends anymore and you feel like you are not capable of having real ones who will be your friends for a long time. That moment when you're blogging and you suddenly had nothing to type because your minds stops working. That moment when you are craving Milk tea which can be only bought near your school which will take you 2 rides and which will cost you 32php with the exemption of the Milk tea price. That moment when you just don't understand clearly how you feel, what you plan to do in life and just lay everything on fate and God's hands. That moment when I know I had to end this post because it's becoming annoying. That moment when I just want to sleep because I have nothing good to do. That moment when I have to exercise and lose all these bi and triceps fats but too lazy to do so. That moment when it's raining and you don't like it because it's making you sad. That moment when you can't understand why you don't appreciate vacations that way you used to before. And that moment...oh...that moment of....Good night.

blah

It kind of sucks that whenever I think of a decent topic to blog or rave about, not-so-good things always occupy my mind immediately. Like for now, Big Bang, yes, with the Big B and a Big Bang is here, yes, like here in our country to have a 'concert' and to finally satisfy each Filipino VIP's dream. As far as I can remember, Big Bang is the first ever super mega hyper popular artist that has come to our country, not that I'm saying that that other artists who have already had concerts here are not, but it's just that Big Bang has a different appeal and feel to the fans. I can see a lot of fellow fangirls almost sobbing because they say, it feels surreal that the band is performing right in front of them which feels like like everything's a dream. Well, yeah, for that, I'm happy for them. The moment I heard about Big Bang's concert here, I was a bit excited but I knew right then that I won't see them nor attend the concert. My reasons? First is the most common one: money -- well yeah, seems that our financial situation nowadays isn't well and I can see my parents trying hard to make both ends meet. As we and things get more demanding, the more we are deprived of what feels like everything. Second reason is that I'm not really a Big fan. I mean, I own a Big Bang shirt and often wear it before until such time I realized why on earth am I wearing this all the time when I'm not a fan? Right then and there, I've hidden the tee in the deepest of my closet. I love Kpop and all though and I like Big Bang, too! But it's just that I kind of promised myself I'll not fangirl hard and honestly and wholeheartedly over any other Kpop artist but TVXQ. Listening to other artists' songs is cool and great (Like what I'm doing recently~ going Beast, Sistar, T-ara and stuff) but having one fandom is stressful, emotionally tiring enough considering how things work if you're a TVXQ fan. But no, I'm not complaining, I love my fandom and I love the band, I think they're the last band I'll ever fangirl on and be a fan of. In the end, this post has told you nothing but randomness and slight insertion of Big Bang stuff. Well yeah, that's because amidst everyone's euphoria on the concert right now, I can't explain why I suddenly had regrets of not buying a ticket and going to the concert -- just a very, very slight feeling I swear. Although I really promise everyone who's gonna see this( well, if there is) that given the chance to have TVXQ here, I will undoubtedly go and see these boys. Not only that, but please help me acquire a backstage pass or anything for me to get close to these gorgeous boys. I won't ask anything of you but this. If this won't happen though, well, see you in Korea, Japan and everywhere! I keep my faith and I believe. <3 Good night~

A good morning post

That bored-restless-weird feeling is taking over me right now and I knew I had to blog. But what do I blog? I can't think of anything decent to post here. Today's Thursday, the second day of my precious(?) sembreak and so far, it has been half boring and half relaxing. I do nothing at home unless my mom commands me something to me (OMG! Just imagine that laziness right there) and I don't go out because, you know no allowance and stuff so I'm stuck at home well unless someone out there wants to take me out but of course, everything has to be free. (LOL)Logged on to twitter, it's too boring, logged on to Facebook, got no notification (see how anti-social I'm getting!) and so my last resort is here....to blog! To not feel alone although I know no one's necessarily gonna read this. Ah~ I'm using my brother's desktop computer right now while he's at school, oh his keyboard is really comfortable so I cannot stop typing though I know this will lead into nothing. Christmas is fast-approaching, are you excited? I am but this year's christmas would be tight and different from the previous christmases we have because of financial problems and stuff. So, let's just feel the air and spirit of Christmas and enjoy it. Until next time~ Pardon this very random post. :P

very unsettling.

I find it very weird that now the sembreak, technically my last sembreak has arrived, I don't feel excited nor have I looked forward to it at all. Is this because I got used to going to school everyday for so long? Ah, the feeling is weird because there's a tad bit of sadness in it. I have no idea who/what will I exactly miss, my friends? my school? my allowance? What? What? Give me something to do for these 3 looooong weeks, please! Something that does not allow and is not even related to spending a single penny. Vacay means no allowance so double sadness. Ugh, anyway, I think I'll just have to enjoy it because from what I see, this is going to be quite the longest and kind of the last vacation I'll have because starting this December to next year, school will surely be crazy! Ciao.

Cats 101

I don't why I came back and wanted to blog again but blah...idk if that's good to you or not. Anyhoo, I'm going to start my 'come back' right by posting a quite interesting--with a sad twist experience of mine....with cats. I'm not really a fan of animals...nor did I want to pet one at home but it's this youngest sister of mine who took that perception away. Meet Miming!

The first ever cat we adopted and offered a shelter since my youngest sister, Cajeanne always sees her passing by our house everyday and being an animal lover, she feeds Miming with some food. Her? Yep, we immediately knew she's a She because she's preggy, all the more reasons why we let her in the house-- to have a safe place where she can give birth to these adorable kittens. I want to narrate every little thing that happened after we took Miming in -- the place she chose to sleep at, the day she gave birth and all that but...this post will be so long already. And sooo here are the three little cute kittens...our bundles of joy. <3

From left to right: Ashley, Orangey and Micky! Well well well aren't they precious? <3 For a month or so, these kittens have always been our stress reliever, Cajeanne's playmates and our source of joy until such time that they started to poo (because of course they can't just suck milk from their mother and they have to eat). The thing is their poo smells so bad that it started bothering us. Plus there are three of them--the smell is too much for us to take.

It's hard to train cats because they say, cats think they're more dominant than the people in the house so they'll do whatever they want regardless of what you teach them and what is right.

So in short, we disposed all these cats. First batch: Miming with Ashley. Second batch: Micky and Orangey. These cats were disposed into different places. And and and because I've grown attached to these kittens, I went back after 3 days of disposing Micky and Orangey in the market to check on them and bring them some food. I found Micky exactly in the place where s/he was left. Micky started meow-ing like crazy when I held her and I knew right away how hungry s/he is. I fed Micky with some food I had with me and she ate it eagerly. Oh how my heart broke while watching her. I tried to find orangey but I cannot. I dunno what came into me because I know my mom will surely throw a fit but I took Micky back home anyway, I knew I had to do that. At home, Micky was nursed back to health because the disposal made him/her stinky, thin and dirty. I was considered Micky 'owner' at home since I'm the one who brought him back. Micky is always so sweet -- whenever I call for him/her, she always runs (like a dog, yep, that fast) to come to me and nuzzle his face on my feet. S/he sleeps deeply if someone's sleeps with him, s/he's playful and active UNTIL....again. I HATE UNTILs already! =( Micky started puking...every food we give him/her...be it a real cat food or just left overs. The first days were okay since he's still active, doing normal things but after how many more days, we can notice prominent changes in him...he's become weaker, he doesn't drink, he doesn't play with us anymore and he often hides somewhere to sleep, sleep and sleep! Oh boy... that really affected me.

I knew we had to bring him to the veterinary clinic that day but the cost really shocked us, we cannot afford it. That was the first time I ever felt like I cannot do anything to save a life-- to save something that has been precious to me. Because I believe that Micky will never be replaced...not by other cats and other animals. But Micky died. I was quite thankful I was in school during that time and my mom was the one who saw everything that happened before Micky died -- the pain the cat went through before passing away. That day, I can't take this pain off my chest and I knew I would treasure this cat forever---in my heart. My mom said I should move on, but it's so hard. Is this the feeling a girl gets when she breaks up with her boyfriend? LOL!

I love you, Micky! :3