embarassed

"Everybody has problems, Everybody has bad times. Do we sacrifice all of the good times because of them? No." - Enchanted.

This isn't really planned to be written but again, something in me pushed me to do so. I don't know why I decided to watch Enchanted (a 2007 Disney Movie) after a long time. Good thing my friend had saved a copy of it on my HD. It was real happiness and ever after. It made me dream of my own happy ever-after although everyone knows it is close to impossible having one. Earlier, we had this "monologue" presentation in class where we have to portray a character from stories we have discussed in one subject. Monologue, per se, is like a speech being told to the audience and could get tedious at times but then again the emotions should be there --- the thing is; a person like me couldn't really act. I could make myself appear like I know how to dance, sing but acting? Don't bother. So in the end, my portrayal of the character I chose failed. I totally f*cked it up. I even did a 2nd take of my 'speech' which has been edited by my awesome cousin. After repeating the whole thing again, I feel like no one even likes to listen, like they're uninterested to their wits. That's saddening though. The simplest things in life make me embarrassed, I think it is only me who's aware of this. The embarrassment I have gotten myself into earlier, whenever I had the chance to remember the whole thing again, I'd have that feeling to be swallowed by the ground. I simply cannot stand it. This happens a lot when I'm by myself. Isn't that weird? This experience I had would remain for quite long~ and I kinda thank short memory for existing that, hopefully, in a week or two, I'll get over and the whole event wouldn't cross my mind ever...like ever. :/ So embarrassed I wanna cry. T^T